This is the conversation I had this morning with Myself.
Lori – my roommate
Moana – the dog
ACT 1: The Awakening
A simple large bedroom, 7:45 a.m.
Lori: DID YOU MAKE GARLIC BROTH!?!
Me: suddenly awoken by loud yelling something about garlic broth. Oh! Shit! No. I forgot. I can have some made in 15 minutes!
Lori: I’m leaving in five.
Me: I’m Sorry Boogs, You will have it when you get home.
Lori: Fine. Shuts door leaves scene.
Myself: Smeggin’ Hell! you are an ass hat. You promised her last night.
Me: I know. What time is it?
I: Where is my phone?
Myself: 7:45. Don’t forget your bread dough. You should get up and do it now.
I: I’ll do it after I walk the dog.
Me: What else can I make for Lori? gasp Onion Soup!
Myself: That is a fantastic idea. Soup-er easy and and a roommate favorite!
I: groaning Fine, after some app games. Where’s my phone?
Five lives later on phone app games.
Myself: GET THE FUCK UP!
Me: Okay, I amd getting up.
Act 2: After the Dog Walk
Me, Myself and I enter through the front door and release Moana from her leash. Into the kitchen.
I: COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE (continual chant)
Myself and Me together: Wash hands and make coffee
I continues to chant at an annoying pace while Myself and Me followed through with the hand washing and the coffee making.
Myself: Bread dough is next. It has been slow rising over night. It is ready to knead and shape.
Me and I: smelling the richness of the sour dough in the dough. MMMMM it smells so good
Myself: Remember, oil your hands first. So they don’t get all sticky with dough. Onto kneading and shaping.
I: Leave it in the bowl, less mess to clean up.
Me: scoop a side up and fold it over. Turn the bowl a quarter turn. Scoop. Fold. Turn. Scoop. Fold. Turn. Scoop. Fold. Turn.
I: It would be awesome to show this to Marlin. This would impress him. I could gloat about how I made the Mother. How I flour the towels to form it. How I bake it in my stock pot. Scoop. Fold. Turn. Scoop. Fold. Turn. Scoop. Fold. Turn. Scoop. Fold. Turn.
Me and Myself: Shut up about Marlin. Impress Me instead. Scoop. Fold. Turn. Scoop. Fold. Turn. Scoop. Fold.
Myself: Let the dough rest while I flour the towels.
I: It is so cold today, I am going to use a seed matt to help the dough rise like a proofer. What time is it? AND! I am going to wrap it in towels to keep this cold draft off the dough.
Me: 10:14. It will still take a long time.
Me, Myself and I: WordPress here I come!
Act 3: Baked
Me, Myself andI looking at the kitchen timer. in the kitchen in front of the oven.
Myself: Trust in the timing. Don’t open the oven. If you open the over, all that steamy heat is going to escape. Just let it be. I had to open it once already to take the lid off. It only has a few more minutes anyway.
I: The lid was on the pot to keep the moisture in and close to the loaf to rise as much as possible for 15 minutes at 400, then let it get toasted from there. That was about 20 minutes ago. I’m checking my email. My coffee is cold. making a sour face.
Me: five minutes later Okay I am going to check it now.
Myself: Thump it’s bottom.
I: Heh heh heh.
Me Myself and I pick up the hot loaf with a oven mitted hand and thump the bottom of the loaf.
Myself: It sounds hollow. Let it rest, I can tuck into it in about 20 minutes
I: That is so cool.
Me, Myself and I: It smells so good.